


He’s like a cleanup crew, who gets sloppy seconds.

by patrochiles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Post-Canon, Set a few weeks after Seijoh's loss against Karasuno, Vague references to chapter 372 & 395, Very brief mention of iwa/yui at the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24159973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrochiles/pseuds/patrochiles
Summary: Their eyes connect and he once again feels the sinking feeling he's been feeling for months, although it could have years with the way he is.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 12





	He’s like a cleanup crew, who gets sloppy seconds.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know that Michimiya doesn't go to Seijoh but for the sake of this story lets assume that she's in the same class as Oikawa & Iwaizumi.

Oikawa feels his entire body slam, as hard as it possibly can without breaking anything, against his gym locker. When Iwaizumi’s hands are around his neck he wishes they were somewhere else. (Cold as ice and hot as fire. It’s like finally being able to breathe.)

He hears strangled words about sleeping with Yui, it hurts and his neck is on fire. He’s worried that Iwaizumi might punch him at some point and finds that he would have preferred it to what was said. ( _Stay away from me, Oikawa!_ He almost breaks, it hurts worse than the punch would have; more than the punch could have.)

He says the words to Yui when she walks into the cafe; because the bitterness is eating him up inside. He notices, with dark satisfaction, the look on her face when he speaks the words and notes the words she’d just said to him. So Iwaizumi wasn’t talking to either of them? That seemed fair. Oikawa was worried for a moment, he’s still not sure how long that moment lasted, that Iwaizumi would just forgive Yui like he does every time and Oikawa would be left alone, again.

(All is fair in love and war. Only, this isn’t really a war, and only Oikawa’s side, of the entire situation, is love.)

Oikawa’s sick of all the games they play. They’re not fun, not anymore. Too much is on the line and he doesn’t feel like risking it all just to lose, because he knows he’s never had any luck. _Ever_.

Oikawa’s overexerting himself at volleyball practice and he knows that he shouldn’t, but the loss of the love of his life _and_ his best friend have driven him to a dark place. He can’t stop thinking about the first time he fucked Yui and of all the conversations he had with Iwaizumi after the event happened. He covered, he worried, he almost grabbed Iwaizumi, and he almost told him ten _fucking_ thousand times. Oikawa, however, has always been a coward, why would it end with Iwaizumi? (It started with him; started with Iwaizumi and his perfection that Oikawa could never touch.)

The last days of school are barely manageable, he feels like he’s going to die when he sits next to Iwaizumi in every class and knows these short times will probably be the last times he’ll see him. (Some times the truth hits low and hurts hard.)

"Oikawa?" He turns around to the voice he hasn’t heard in months. He _would_ be elated, but he feels something growing in the pit of his stomach; it won’t end well. (Like something will explode and kill them all. Except that this is worse than that because they won’t die after this.)

"Yes, _Iwa chan_?" Oikawa just hopes he kept his voice strong, although he knows he probably failed for the billionth time since this started. (Not shocking.)

"The world fell apart." Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything more and when Oikawa looks him in the eyes he knows he’s not seeing what he wants, the depression, the sadness, is there; it’s really real. Oikawa lets his own depression, the stuff he’s been hiding with too much alcohol, too many men, women, and spending too much time alone, seep in and take a stronghold on him. He feels the tears pricking his eyes. He doesn’t want to shed a single one in front of Iwaizumi, even if he can’t say he hasn’t shed any _for_ him. He feels Yui’s eyes on them. (No kind words for boyfriend stealers, or ex-lovers at that.)

He feels hollow and empty as Iwaizumi brings up his hand and lets it play on the nape of Oikawa’s neck. His breathing hitches and his heart almost stops. _It is just a game,_ he tells himself. It’s just one of the many games that they’ve always played; they’ve been playing games that have broken each other, for each other, since they were young enough to understand sex and its meaning. Nothing will ever change; everything remains the same. (Why should something change? Change is constant; this will stay this way for a long time coming.)

Oikawa knows that they’re spinning, spinning out of control without an end in sight, but he can’t help how he feels. Oikawa bets that if you could choose who you like, who you love that most people wouldn’t pick the person they feel it for; but you can’t help who you like or love. Iwaizumi always said it’s the gravity; that’s what does it. So Oikawa figures that it was gravity he should blame. It’s gravity’s fault for bringing him and Iwaizumi together in pre-school. (He never stood a chance against pretty emerald eyes, the sweetest voice he ever heard, and the nicest person he could have imagined.)

"You don’t forgive me, do you?" Oikawa’s voice is full of pain, as much as he tries to hide it, and he watches as Iwaizumi turns around, his own shirt in his hand. Oikawa’s eyes refuse to go above Iwaizumi’s chest; he doesn’t want to see the look on his face.

"No, I don’t. The world fell apart because you slept with her; I really have nothing to say." Oikawa finally looks up and into Iwaizumi’s face; anger residing within the beautiful eyes. He realizes that Iwaizumi doesn’t recognize that Oikawa’s own world fell apart too, no matter what Iwaizumi, or Yui for that matter, tries to tell him.

Oikawa moves forward slowly, trying to let his heart fall back into place and out of his throat. Iwaizumi looks down and grabs his pants off the white couch. Iwaizumi turns around and is slightly surprised, but Oikawa thinks Iwaizumi might have known, and lets Oikawa, Oikawa fucking Tooru, kiss him, again. They both understand and then fall back over onto the couch.

"Why did you do it?" Iwaizumi’s voice is just as sweet as that first day, but the bitterness, Oikawa can tell, is swallowing him whole.

"Envy." Oikawa states blankly. He can’t say anything else; he can’t lie like that to Iwaizumi so he tells him the frightening truth.

"You wanted Yui _that_ much?" Oikawa’s hears the question, but not really. Instead, he focuses in on the kicked puppy sound to Iwaizumi's voice before turning over in the bed and looking at the man lying next to him. Their eyes connect and he, once again, feels the sinking feeling he’s been feeling for months, although it could have been years with the way he is.

"No." Iwaizumi’s eyebrow rises, Oikawa notes, he wasn’t expecting that answer. "I wanted _you_ that much. I don’t, and never have, felt more than mild interest in Yui. Sexually or as a person, she’s not interesting." Oikawa can see it when Iwaizumi realizes that it’s always been for him. (Never about the girl with Oikawa Tooru; it’s _always_ no matter how you look at it, just about a boy.)

Summer comes and goes and they graduate high school. Oikawa’s not ready to accept the fact that things will never be the same, so he takes the option of training and playing in the Argentinian League. (He’s just following Iwaizumi’s example who has run off to California for university.)

During his time in Argentina, Oikawa comes to the painful realization that Iwaizumi’s not the puppy, he is. Iwaizumi falls in love and he feels like he’s been kicked; his world falls apart. (Nothing can stay the same.)

Iwaizumi runs back when his heart gets broken; Oikawa comprehends the fact that no matter how things happen, he’ll always be picking up the broken pieces of Iwaizumi. (He’s like a cleanup crew; who gets sloppy seconds.) Although he understands that how he feels is probably how Iwaizumi feels about his part in Oikawa’s life. Oikawa thinks that maybe that makes him feel better. (Maybe not.)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments fuel me!


End file.
